Wednesday, March 16, 2011

1.5L

And just like that....I'm back to blogging.

I think I had forgotten how therapeutic it could be....and these days, it's quite probable that I need therapy.

Of course, my re-introduction into writing on the wonderful world wide web as a First-Year Law Student comes timely at the close of second semester midterms. My mind is scattered, my eyes are a ghost of the vibrant energy they were a week ago during Spring Break, and my body screams for uninterrupted rest.

Unfortunately, there will be none of that any time soon. And that's okay.....oddly.

See....I feel deep in my being that I have what it takes to be a lawyer for nonprofit orgs and small businesses. I may even have a future working for the federal government in a general counsel's office. My experience and my intuition tells me that I'm cut out for "thinking like a lawyer."

However, I don't feel cut out for Law School. This crap is for the birds. The continued hazing of sleepless nights, irrational deadlines, and unsympathetic professors who prefer to point out your flaws than to encourage your strengths.....well.....it's just an unnecessary test of my wills. It's the Ugly Means to the Incredible End.

I have a kid and a fiance' to be there for; a household to contribute to; a nonprofit organization to lead; and am planning a wedding/honeymoon. I am about 8 years older than my youngest classmate and significantly younger than my oldest. I have obtained two degrees already and worked for most of my 9 year-old's life.

Bottom line? I've never been so stressed and humbled and scared of failure before in my entire life. And I'm only just beginning.

The bright side of everything is the incredible feeling that....if I can make it through....I may very well reach my goal. I may be bruised and beat up on the other side....but at least I will have accomplished this and could put the horrible nightmares behind me. I've even scored an amazing first year internship this summer, working for a great urban community nonprofit law center.

Now.....midterms are done. I have to read for tomorrow's class.....and Friday's.....and work on that paper that's due Monday. But I promised the Boy that Friday night is just me and him, so hustle-hustle until our mom-son date.

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